Infertility Counseling
Located in Lee's Summit, serving individuals and couples across the Kansas City area.
Infertility asks you to adhere to a schedule you didn't choose or make. There's the two-week wait, the call that doesn't come, the appointment that gets moved, and the quiet work of explaining it all to people who mean well and don't quite understand. It can take over your calendar, your budget and most of the room in your head.
You don't have to carry that by yourself. I'm an infertility counselor in Lee's Summit, and I work with individuals and couples at every stage — trying to conceive, in the middle of treatment, or years past it and still carrying what it left behind.
As a Licensed Professional Counselor in Missouri and a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Kansas, I can see clients on both sides of the state line. Sessions are also available virtually through a secure, HIPAA-compliant platform anywhere in either state, which matters more than usual here — treatment schedules rarely leave room for a drive.
What is infertility counseling?
Infertility counseling is therapy with someone who already understands the medical process, so you don't have to explain it before you can talk about it. You won't need to define a trigger shot, an IUI or a failed transfer, and you won't be asked whether you've tried relaxing.
Your reproductive endocrinologist manages the treatment. My work is everything the treatment stirs up: the grief, the self-blame, the strain on your relationship, and the exhausting job of holding a life together around a process you can't control.
There's no threshold you have to cross first. People come to infertility therapy when they:
• Have been trying for months and nobody can tell them why it isn't working
• Are starting IVF, IUI or medicated cycles and want support in place before they begin
• Have just had a cycle fail, or a transfer that didn't take
• Are deciding whether to keep going, change course or stop
• Are done with treatment and find the grief didn't end when the appointments did
• Are grieving losses that happened along the way
Some people come once, in a hard week – I would remove this sentence just because I don’t tend to recommend only coming for one session. Maybe shifting it to say, Some people need support after receiving the news they won’t be able to conceive naturally. Others come throughout treatment and keep the appointment as the one hour that's theirs. Both are a good use of therapy.
IFS in the perinatal years
There's no threshold you have to cross first. People come to infertility therapy when they:
• Have been trying for months and nobody can tell them why it isn't working
• Are starting IVF, IUI or medicated cycles and want support in place before they begin
• Have just had a cycle fail, or a transfer that didn't take
• Are deciding whether to keep going, change course or stop
• Are done with treatment and find the grief didn't end when the appointments did
• Are grieving losses that happened along the way
Some people come once, in a hard week – I would remove this sentence just because I don’t tend to recommend only coming for one session. Maybe shifting it to say, Some people need support after receiving the news they won’t be able to conceive naturally. Others come throughout treatment and keep the appointment as the one hour that's theirs. Both are a good use of therapy.
What we work on
The grief nobody schedules around
Infertility grief is real grief, and it arrives (removed monthly because I think the grief is ongoing, not just when there’s a cylce) whether or not anything visible has changed. There's often no event to point to and no ritual for it, which can leave you feeling like you're overreacting to something that "hasn't even happened." It has happened. We can treat it that way.
Self-blame, and the search for a reason
When testing doesn't produce a clear answer, many people start looking for one in themselves: something they did, something they waited too long to do, a body that isn't cooperating. That self-blame is one of the most common things I see, and it's one you can be supported in.
Everyone else's timeline
Pregnancy announcements, baby showers, the friend who started trying after you did. You're allowed to protect your energy here. That can sound like "We'd love to be there, and I'm going to sit this one out while I support you from afar," or simply "I'm really happy for you, and I need a little space right now." You don't owe anyone a fuller explanation than that.
The part where you're supposed to function normally
Work, family, the ordinary week. Infertility runs underneath all of it while you're expected to show up as usual. We can talk about what to tell an employer, how much to say to family, and where you're allowed to let your guard down and be vulnerable.
Counseling during IVF and fertility treatment
Treatment has its own emotional shape, and it isn't the shape people expect. The hardest stretches are often the waiting ones, not the procedures — the days between transfer and test, the pause between cycles, the gap while results come back.
If you want support in place before you start, that's worth doing rather than waiting for a hard week to force the appointment. If you're already mid-cycle, we can start where you are.
Infertility counseling for couples
Infertility rarely lands on two people the same way. One of you may want to talk about it constantly while the other copes by staying busy and saying less. Neither response is wrong, and both can be read as not caring by the person doing the opposite. As the individual undergoing treatment you likely have a very different experience from your partner who is not experiencing frequent blood draws and hormone injections. This can cause a sense of disconnect and isolation.
Couples counseling gives you a place to compare notes on purpose instead of by accident — what each of you needs, how decisions get made, what to do when you're not ready to stop at the same time, and how to protect the parts of your relationship that have nothing to do with conceiving.
Intimacy usually deserves its own conversation by the time people get here. Sex on a schedule changes what it means, and that change often outlasts treatment.
Male factor infertility
Roughly 30% of infertility involves male factor, and almost none of the support is built for it. Men are frequently the ones who are asked how their partner is doing and never asked how they are. If that's you, this is your appointment too — individually or with your partner.
Therapy when treatment ends
Infertility doesn't have a clean ending, and the ones it does have are usually complicated.
Some people go on to build a family through Third-party reproduction counseling using donor eggs, donor sperm, donor embryos or a gestational surrogate. Some reach the end of treatment with the family they already have and find that relief and grief arrive together. Some become childfree not by choice, which is a specific loss that deserves specific support and rarely gets it.
There's no right answer and no timeline you're behind on. Therapy is a place to think it through without anyone's expectations in the room.
How I work
I'm certified in perinatal mental health and work primarily from the lens of Internal Family Systems, which is useful in infertility because the conflicting parts of ourselves are so loud — the part that wants to keep going and the part that's exhausted, the part that's happy for a friend and the part that can't be in the room. IFS doesn't ask you to pick one. All of your parts are welcome here.
I'm also an art therapist. Some of what infertility does sits below language, particularly after a loss, and art therapy gives it somewhere to go. You do not need to be good at art, and this is not coloring to relax. It's a different route to the same work, available if it appeals to you and easily left alone if it doesn't.
I work with adult individuals and couples of all ages, races, sexual orientations, gender identities and marital statuses, including LGBTQ+ couples conceiving through assisted reproductive technology, single parents by choice, people using donor gametes, people who have donated gametes, and people who have experienced gamete, embryo or pregnancy loss.
All are welcome here.
You don't have to be in treatment to come in
Session length, fee and format
Individual therapy: 50 minutes · $140 · first session $165
Couples therapy: 50 minutes · $165
Art therapy: 50 minutes · $150
Format: in person in Lee's Summit, or virtually on a HIPAA-compliant platform anywhere in Missouri or Kansas
Payment: HSA, FSA, most major credit cards, debit cards, cash and check
Reduced fee: therapy scholarships are available — please ask
Training in reproductive mental health
Katie Kirkenmeier, MA, LPC, LCPC, ATR, PMH-C
Certified in Perinatal Mental Health (PMH-C)
Member of the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine
Trained through ASRM to provide third-party reproduction consultations
Introduction to Reproductive Psychology, a 10-month course covering infertility, pregnancy and neonatal losses, postpartum concerns, birth trauma and more
Registered Art Therapist (ATR)
IFS-Level 2 trained
Licensed Professional Counselor in Missouri and Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Kansas
Questions about infertility counseling
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Whenever it's affecting your daily life — your sleep, your work, your relationship, or your ability to be around people. There's no diagnosis you need first and no point at which it's too early. Many people say afterward that they wish they'd come sooner. Often times it can feel hard to find adequate support from those in your life because it’s so isolating. Having a space where someone fully understands the medical and emotional nuances of infertility is invaluable to enduring the process.
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Yes. Some clients are still trying to conceive on their own, some are deciding whether to see a reproductive endocrinologist, and some are preparing for treatment that starts months from now.
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Yes, either together throughout or occasionally. Some couples do individual work separately and add joint sessions at the harder decision points. We can find the arrangement that fits.
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I'm no longer accepting new insurance clients. Many clients use HSA or FSA funds, and I can provide a superbill you submit to your insurance for possible out-of-network reimbursement — more on the out of network and superbills page. Therapy scholarships are also available, so it's always worth asking.
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Yes. If you live in Missouri or Kansas, we can meet on a secure, HIPAA-compliant video platform from anywhere in either state.
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No. If your clinic has asked for a psychological evaluation before donor or surrogacy treatment, that's a separate appointment with its own format and summary report — Third-party reproduction counseling covers it. Ongoing counseling is a different thing, and you can do either or both.
Schedule infertility counseling in Lee's Summit or virtually
Book a free 15-minute consultation, send me a message or text 816-875-0078.
I reply within two business days.
If you've been carrying this quietly for a while, that's reason enough to make the call. You don't have to have the words ready first.