Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy
Located in Lee's Summit, serving clients across the Kansas City area.
Part of you wants to keep going. Part of you is done. Part of you is furious with both of them for not sorting this out already.
That isn't indecision, and it isn't a sign that something is wrong with you. It's what minds actually do. Internal Family Systems is a way of working with it that doesn't require you to pick a side or have just one part of you that has to constantly be in the driver’s seat.
I'm an IFS-trained therapist in Lee's Summit. As a Licensed Professional Counselor in Missouri and a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Kansas, I see clients on both sides of the state line, in person or virtually anywhere in either state.
What is Internal Family Systems?
IFS starts from the idea that the mind is naturally made up of parts — not a disorder, just how people work. You already talk this way without noticing: part of me wants to, part of me is scared, I don't know what came over me.
IFS says three useful things about those parts.
They all have a positive intention. Even the ones causing you the most trouble. The inner critic is trying to keep you from being humiliated. The part that shuts down is trying to keep you safe. They're using strategies that made sense once and have outstayed their usefulness.
Underneath them, there's a you that isn't a part. IFS calls it Self — the part of you that can be curious and steady rather than reactive. It doesn't have to be built or earned. It gets crowded out, and it can be reached again.
Nothing has to be got rid of. This is what makes IFS different from approaches that treat symptoms as enemies. We're not eliminating the anxious part or beating the critic. We're finding out what it's protecting and what it needs in order to stop working so hard. All of your parts are welcome and there are no bad parts.
The inner critic, and the exhaustion of never being enough
Anxiety, and the part of you that scans for danger constantly
Perfectionism, people-pleasing and the inability to rest
Trauma, including childhood trauma, at a pace that doesn't overwhelm you
Shame, and the parts you've decided are unacceptable
Numbness, shutting down, or losing yourself in work
Conflicting wants that keep you stuck — staying or going, trying again or stopping
Reactions that feel disproportionate and that you can't talk yourself out of
IFS in the perinatal years
This is where I use IFS most, and here’s why it works well for the reproductive years.
Infertility puts your parts in conflict with one another: a part that wants to try again, a part that can't take another cycle, a part that's happy for your friend and a part that can't be in the room. Being told to think positively while your critic is telling you it’s something you did wrong that’s caused it.
New parenthood does something similar. There's the part that loves your child completely, the part that grieves the person you were, and the new parts that emerge as you transition into parenthood. IFS doesn't ask you to resolve the contradictions and conflicts. It asks what each part is carrying and wants all parts to be seen as valid.
And after a loss, the protective parts get loud — the one that won't let you hope, the one that keeps searching for what you did wrong, the one that says you should be over it. We work with them rather than against them.
What IFS sessions are like
Less abstract than it sounds. We start with something specific that's bothering you, and instead of using a structured approach or “homework”, we get curious about the parts of you that are showing up. i How old does it feel. What is it afraid would happen if it stopped.
Most people are surprised by how quickly a part will answer that question, and by how much sense the answer makes.
You don't have to believe any of the theory for it to work. Plenty of clients start out thinking this sounds odd and then find that speaking to a part of themselves that has been running the show since they were nine changes something no amount of insight had.
Sessions are 50 minutes, and we go at the speed your protective parts allow. IFS is not a technique you get pushed through.
IFS with couples
The same argument, over and over, is usually not two adults disagreeing. It's one protective part of you meeting one protective part of your partner, both of them doing the job they were assigned years before you met.
Seeing that changes the fight. It becomes possible to say "the part of me that goes cold is scared, it isn't contempt," which lands very differently.
More on the postpartum couples therapy page.
IFS alongside EMDR and art therapy
IFS pairs well with the other ways I work.
With EMDR, IFS is what we use when processing stalls because a part of you isn't ready to let the memory move. Rather than pushing, we find out why. More on the EMDR therapy page.
With art therapy, parts often turn out to be easier to draw than to describe — and seeing them on paper, separate from you, does some of the work by itself. More on the Art therapy for adults page.
I work with adults of all genders, sexualities, races and identities.
All are welcome here.
What IFS helps with
Session length, fee and format
Couples therapy: 50 minutes · $165
Format: in person in Lee's Summit, or virtually on a HIPAA-compliant platform anywhere in Missouri or Kansas
Payment: HSA, FSA, most major credit cards, debit cards, cash and check
Reduced fee: therapy scholarships are available — please ask
Training in reproductive mental health
Katie Kirkenmeier, MA, LPC, LCPC, ATR, PMH-C
Level 1 and 2 trained in Internal Family Systems through the IFS Institute
EMDR Level 1 and 2 trained
Registered Art Therapist (ATR)
Certified in Perinatal Mental Health (PMH-C)
Seven years working exclusively with survivors of sexual violence
Licensed Professional Counselor in Missouri and Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Kansas
Questions about IFS therapy
-
I'm Level 1 and 2 trained through the IFS Institute, which is the formal training track. Certification is a separate credential I don't currently hold. I will complete the Level 3 IFS training through the IFS institute in the spring of 2027. The certification process is one that requires lengthy consultation and at least a Level 2 training through the institute. This is very different than having an IFS informed practice.
-
No. IFS treats multiplicity as normal, not pathological. It is not the same thing as dissociative identity disorder, and having parts is simply how our minds are organized.
-
No. Most of this happens internally, and you tell me as much as you want to. Some people prefer to speak it, most don't.
-
Yes, it translates well to video. If you live in Missouri or Kansas we can work this way from anywhere in either state.
-
No. Understanding that your critical and protective parts is more about getting to know them better and their innerworkings rather than letting them be in charge. It gives you the opportunity to work with the parts we don’t always love rather than arguing with it.
-
Yes. Plenty of people come in for one stuck pattern and work on that.
Schedule IFS therapy in Lee's Summit or virtually
Book a free 15-minute consultation, send me a message or text 816-875-0078.
I reply within two business days.
If you've spent years at war with a part of yourself, it may be worth trying the other approach.